Given the importance of intimacy in marriage, especially over the long haul, you and your marriage partner should work together to nurture each other’s intimacy, both sensual and sexual. The effort should be joint and continuous for the rest of the marriage journey.
Life is never a bed of roses; it always has some thorns that may come in different forms, such as death and dying of loved ones, financial failures and unemployment, health issues, alcohol addiction and drug abuse problems, among many others.
But one of the most devastating adversities that affect marital bliss is adultery, a betrayal of trust and a break in the bond of marriage.
Adultery, which is not uncommon these days, occurs when a married person engages willingly in a sexual relationship with someone other than the person to whom he or she is married.
Disposition and vulnerability
Given that adultery occurs in 25 percent of married couples and 40 percent of unmarried couples, do your best to avoid adultery in your marriage by doing the following:
Don’t distance each other both emotionally and physically. That explains the importance of the continuation of sensual and sexual intimacy throughout the marriage journey.
Don’t nag and criticize each other in public or even in private. They only foster negative emotions leading to adultery.
Don’t spend too much time hanging around with friends who don’t know your spouse.
Don’t disclose the secrets of your marital life at your workplace or with your close friends. Your disclosure or “secret-free” mindset may only encourage marital unfaithfulness not only from yourself but also from those around you. So, avoid “emotional adultery.”
Don’t commit adultery with your eyes, because your eyes are gateways to your soul.
Jesus had rightly said about “visual adultery”: “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.” (Matthew 5:27-30)
Don’t commit adultery with the emergence of technology: sexting and sending explicit photos through social media platforms. Remember, having “no physical contact” may transcend into real-life adultery sooner or later.
Don’t “threaten divorce” with your spouse—ironically enough, it often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The bottom line: Engaging in adultery is playing with fire; the thrill isn’t worth it because it inevitably gets yourself burned.
So, nurture each other’s intimacy, both sensual and sexual, continuously.
So, restrain your pride or help to restrain that of your marriage partner. Pride is often a dear friend of unfaithfulness.
Stephen Lau
Copyright© by Stephen Lau
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