Divorce is becoming more prevalent. How common is divorce in the United States? About 40 percent of the married coupled end in divorce; and half of those divorced couples have divorced parents.
According to the CDC, the five states with the highest
divorce rates are: Nevada; Arkansas; West Virginia; Oklahoma; and Idaho.
The reality is that divorce is no respecter of persons: no
matter who you’re, or where you live. It happens to deeply religious people and
atheists; the young and the old couples; the rich and the poor; the educated
and the uneducated. Another reality is that money is the No.1 underlying cause
of divorce.
Divorce involves alimony, custody, child support, and
50/50 division of marital properties—these marital financial problems can be
complicated and stressful for divorced couples, affecting their children and
family members.
Marriage can—but not should—make you happy. What you
need to do is to invest a lot of time and energy into your marriage to make you
happy by turning it into a journey of self-discovery and personal growth. In
other words, a good and happy marriage brings out the best in each other, and
thus instrumental in bringing more-lasting happiness to the marriage.
The reality
The truth is that, according to several studies, those
who’re wealthy and educated get divorced much more than those who struggle;
also, splitting happens more frequently later in life than they once were.
The reality is that a good marriage makes you happier and healthier. Marital bliss lasts longer than the happiness of unmarried couples.
How the Bible Can Help Your Marriage
The Bible explicitly says that marriage is meant to
be permanent.
So, live in the presence of God, who oversees your
marriage. Living in His presence means not just “hearing” but also “living out”
His Word.
“As for everyone who comes to me and hears my words and
puts them into practice, I will show you what they are like.” (Luke 6:47)
Getting married is going into unchartered waters, and it
can be unsettling, causing fear of the unknown and the unpredictable.
“Do not fear. . . . When you pass through the waters, I
will be with you.” (Isaiah 43: 1-2)
Even Jesus said to His disciples caught in a
violent storm: “Why are you so afraid?” before He commanded the waters to be
still. (Matthew 8: 23-27)
So, if you genuinely believe that the two of you truly love
each other, then go ahead and get married. There’s nothing to fear, except the fear
of getting married.
Marital life is sometimes full of difficulties and
disappointments that become bitterness. The best course of action is to pause,
reflect, and then bury them, while praying to God to replace your bitterness
with a sweet, joyful spirit to enable you to make the right decision about the
next step to take. Making decisions in the heat of distress is rarely a good
idea, and it often breeds only more hardship.
Life is full of many cycles—such as the vicious cycles of
addiction and rehabilitation, including alcohol, drugs, gambling, and sex. But
God’s love can break the cycles of your past, giving you a new future with
faith, hope and strength to break even future cycles to come.
Living in the presence of God means you’re called to pursue
both justice and mercy. But justice isn’t pursuing revenge, and
mercy isn’t showing a lack of accountability. Instead, justice-and-mercy is
moving forward with love that not only hates what is evil, but also
longs for the transformation of self, as well as the one you love, that is,
your marriage partner.
Living in the presence of God means you’ve the opportunity
to listen to Him. However, that’s not enough: you’ve to put His Words “into
practice.” Not putting “into practice” is like building a house “on sand”
instead of “on rock.”
“But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not
put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The
rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that
house, and it fell with a great crash.” (Matthew 7:26-27)
So, if you build your marriage on any foundation other than
the humble obedience to God’s Words, you’re only inviting troubles to your
marriage.
“Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can
bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit
unless you remain in me.” (John 15:4)
Living in the presence of God is spiritual nourishment to
help the spiritual renewal and fruitfulness in your marriage.
You may be struggling with patience, not just with your marriage
partner, but also with the divine help from God. You’re not alone. Even the
ancient prophet Habakkuk complained:
“How long, Lord, must I call for help,
but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, ‘Violence!’
but you do not save?” (Habakkuk 1:2)
But some of God’s help and blessings to your marriage may be long to come. So, just have faith, and manifest your patience with trust and obedience, and His help will come one day.
You’re living in a world in which injustice and vengeance
are rampant. Living in the midst of this storm of unfairness may cause you
unhappiness and even your own lack of faith in God. Your accountability to your
marriage and your marriage partner is as important as your accountability to
God.
A good and healthy marriage means you and your marriage partner are accountable to each other for whatever you do, as well as each other's own accountability to God. Without accountability, there will be no blessing and no spiritual guidance throughout the marriage journey.
Stephen Lau
Copyright© by Stephen Lau
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