Marriage and Divorce

Divorce

According to the CDC, the five states with the highest divorce rates are: Nevada; Arkansas; West Virginia; Oklahoma; and Idaho.

The reality is that divorce is no respecter of persons: no matter who you’re, or where you live. It happens to deeply religious people and atheists; the young and the old couples; the rich and the poor; the educated and the uneducated. Another reality is that money is the No.1 underlying cause of divorce.

Divorce involves alimony, custody, child support, and 50/50 division of marital properties—these marital financial problems can be complicated and stressful for divorced couples, affecting their children and family members.

How common is divorce in the United States? About 40 percent of the married 

Nowadays, divorce can even be done online with little or no hassle—just like returning a purchased item with full refund. If that’s the scenario, then why should you—or shouldn’t you—get married?

Marriage

Despite the prevalence of divorce, most Americans still want to get married, not just because of legally binding themselves to one another, but because of the marital bliss and happiness to be enjoyed, even though not for long. According to science of happiness, married people tend to the wealthier, healthier, and more sexually fulfilled than unmarried people. Of course, there’re many exceptions.

Marriage can—but not should—make you happy. What you need to do is to invest a lot of time and energy into your marriage to make you happy by turning it into a journey of self-discovery and personal growth. In other words, a good and happy marriage brings out the best in each other, and thus instrumental in bringing more-lasting happiness to the marriage.

The reality

The truth is that, according to several studies, those who’re wealthy and educated get divorced much more than those who struggle; also, splitting happens more frequently later in life than they once were.

The reality is that a good marriage makes you happier and healthier. Marital bliss lasts longer than the happiness of unmarried couples.

Asking Self-Intuitive Questions

So, before getting married, ask yourself some self-intuitive questions regarding what‘s going to happen to you and your marriage partner in the days to come, not to mention the years ahead.

As of now, other than getting married to the one you dearly love, what’s the most important to you: your parents; your children (from your previous marriage); your education; your career?

 Are you spiritual and religious? What’s your expected role of your marriage partner in your faith?

Do you have a role model in your life? If yes,  who’s that role model?

What’s the meaning of life? What’s its purpose? (Obviously, it’s not easy to define them.)

Are you physically healthy? Any major health issues, such as depression? Any addiction to alcohol or drugs?

Are you emotionally healthy?

What‘s your greatest fear in your life? Are you always worried about many things in life, and what’re they?

What happens when you’re angry? Do you want to talk or sulk? Do you easily become depressed and withdrawn? Do you throw a temper tantrum, or even become violent? What can calm you down, and how long does it usually take?

Do you have a sense of humor? Do you laugh easily?

Are you forgiving? Do you always bring up the past—both the pleasant and the unpleasant?

These questions aren’t just for yourself, but also for your future marriage partner.

Stephen Lau

Copyright© by Stephen Lau

“GETTING MARRIED TO MAKE YOU HAPPY?”

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